Watching Star Wars for the First Time: Episode VII

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Star Wars.jpg
 

The final installment of Leeann watches Star Wars is finally here!

Also, in case you missed my most recent Disney post, check out what happened during my first few days at Disney World over on my DCP tab.

In a stunning turn of events, I accidently turned on the option "English with descriptive audio" to have someone narrate what's happening. It's hilarious, so no matter.

Even the new movie starts exactly the same...

Luke has vanished! This is the best news yet. Now if only Han was missing too.

But Leia is a general! Yes yes!

Ship covers the moon, so it must be evil.

Storm troopers! Maybe they have skills now.

A robot not quite as cute as R2 appears.

Guy who looks like Obi Wan appears with random young guy who seems evil.

Stormtroopers, much better at shooting. Not a good thing.

I like how BB8 chirps instead of whistle whistle bleep bleeps

Why storm troopers, why? Why so evil? Why why why.

Convenient blood mark on important stormtrooper.

Kylo Ren, stop trying to be Darth Vader. You're not Darth Vader.

Guy I thought was evil is actually just stupid, like Luke.

BB8 moaned softly! Oh no oh no this is so sad!

Ah yes, he is an important storm trooper!! And I see why they've been unremarkable before.

The music is incredibly improved (along with, you know, every visual effect ever).

Rey frees BB8!! Rey is British??

BB8 is so happy to have made a friend. Lol this robot is hilarious.

I wish Kylo Ren sounded like Mufasa.

Another map of the evil ship! How nice! Throwback to Episode IV.

How is the force strong with Kylo Ren if Luke is missing?

Rey and BB8, best friends for life.

Wait, Rey, don't trade him don't don't!! He's your friend.

What, no, STRANGER DANGER POE STRANGER DANGER. I mean, I know Finn's good (now, I did think he was evil) but you don't.

Poe and Finn are clearly bros.

Questions you should have asked before running away with someone: names.

Wow Kylo Ren, I mean I hate you, but you know what you're doing.

Questions you should have asked before running away with someone: where they want to run away to and why.

They just blew that ship up because they could...

Leader Snoke? Who's he?

Also of the things to ditch in the new movie, PowerPoint transitions would have been at the top of my list.

BB8 with these zaps, I love it.

Sad BB8 is so depressing oh my gosh.

Poor BB8 everyone makes him save himself. Just like my dear (missing) R2.

WAIT WHAT I KNOW WHAT THIS SHIP IS.

Rey you are a flying genius!

Did they just leave Poe behind on the planet?

Kylo Ren control yourself! Destroying the ship never solved anything.

BB8's thumbs up is great.

Also, the fact Finn knows nothing tells me that stormtroopers are in fact worthless.

CHEWIEEE. You haven't aged a day.

Ew and Han.

Harrison Ford I'm sorry but you look really really...old.

Han what are you doing with your life. Are you really stealing again.

An Irishman appears. Why.

I predict Han and Co will escape on the Millilium Falcon.

How does Rey know how to do all this?

Oh look, they're escaping on the Falcon!

This is like the first movie redone with style.

Who is this Snoke? I'm confused.

Kylo Ren is Han's son, not surprised. I can see the resemblance.

Han is shocked that a woman like Rey could be cool and know more than him. Gag.

Oh Han. Still have to teach Rey because she's a girl.

What; where are we now? Am I missing a reference because I skipped 1,2,3?

Kylo Ren feels pulled to the light! But did he not know that at the last minute Darth Vader was good?

"Leia doesn't want to see me." Well I sure hope she doesn't.

Come on Finn, BB8's chirping anxiously!

But wait, Rey, no, it is your destiny, take the light saber.

Moody shot of Rey. Rey don't be like Luke don't do it.

Wait why the Nazi reference...

Oh my gosh they destroyed the city in the clouds... And four others...oh my gosh...

Oh no you're captured. If Rey was there that wouldn't have happened.

The fighter planes! People die in those.

Can we please acknowledge how Finn has no force?

Oh hey Poe's back! What happened with him?

I've decided Rey is Luke's daughter. Meaning, the cousins are fighting! Andddd now Kylo kidnapped her.

Finn's devotion to Rey is really touching.

UGH NO WHY DID C3PO appear!

If he comes back and R2 doesn't I'm done.

Aw sweet Chewie and Leia hug.

BB8 and Poe have the most adorable reunion!

Oh Leia, you've aged.

But I'm so glad she's mad at Han.

ITS R2 ITS R2 ITS R2 AND BB8 FOUND HIM.

Kylo Ren sans mask is not threatening.

Oh but wow is he evil to Rey.

The force is with Rey, you can have nothing Kylo.

She will defeat you Kylo Ren!!

Hey, I know! Let's defeat the evil weapon in the same way we always have! Because why create your weapon in a different way?

No stop I'm never okay with Han and Leia together.

Finn, Rey is so far ahead of you you don't even know

A bunch of planes! They are bound to get shut down.

Han stop acting surprised when Rey does something

They named Kylo Ren "Ben" after Obi Wan. He's a shame to the name. YOU ARE NOT A KINDLY OLD MAN SIR.

I'm sorry I don't believe Kylo Ren is good.

I knew it.

Chewie, Chewie no. Those sounds. :(

My cat enters the room. "No no don't watch the movie watch how cute I'm being."

 
 

This destruction plan is so familiar...

Rey is doing the one thing Luke could never figure out! Focusing!

Oh sure what are the chances a huge hole went right between them...

And Chewie saves the day!!

The bombest women of all time hug. This is great.

R2 you're back!! You're back!! Just in time!

Oh Luke... Aged well you did not.

That's it! That's it?!?!

And now I have to actually wait...

Leeann

Watching Star Wars for the First Time: Episode VI

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The Star Wars streak continues with the last movie of the original trilogy. Plot twists, PowerPoint transitions, and repeat story lines abound, but I still thoroughly enjoyed it! Read on for my play-by-play, followed by thoughts on the three movies altogether.

My last Star Wars recap will be of the newest one, Episode VII (yes I'm skipping I, II, and III. Sorry not sorry). And then after that, almost all my blog posts will be over at my DCP Fall 2016 tab, so make sure you're checking it regularly! I most recently posted about the process for requesting housing/roommates and signing up for a class.

Without further ado: Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.

*Words scroll on the screen* Caroline: "Oh, this part. You can't eat cheesecake and read words at the same time."

Oh, so the pizza slices did not replace the Death Star! Didn't catch that.

Oooo are we finally going to meet the emperor?

R2 R2 R2!!

R2, so fearless, so cute.

Jabba the Hutt looking much better since the first film.

What is this music? Tropical electro-dance? 

"I am Luke Skywalker, and I have a new haircut!"

Luke, you fool! Why would you give away R2?

Lol Han is Jabba's wall hanging.

"You're a feisty little one." R2 is perfect just the way he is, don't change him Jabba minions!

What is the deal with this Jabba dance scene... Like what is happening... I'm so confused. Why is Jabba having an evil dance party?

Now they're making like the Romans and fighting monsters to the death?

Chewbacca has appeared, hooray!

Festive tune picks up after a very tense scene.

Jabba's Han art is almost like a shrine. And his removal was way too easy. Just a click of the button!

YUCK LEIA WHY STOP.

For once Leia has acted incredibly foolish. Why did she release him with no plan?

Although the Han/Chewy reunion is cute.

Oh, ugh, Leia. What have they done to you.

Luke stop trying to act cool. 

Luke's such a fool, he can't beeee freeeee.

I thought you were a Jedi Knight, I thought you were fancy, Luke.

Caroline: "Monster please just eat Luke and get this over with."

Luke you're not intimidating. This is not a real plan.

Oh. Well, yes, maybe that is a real plan.

Han deserves to be digested for 1,000 years by a monster. But did Jabba's minions really deserve that fate?

Yes Leia! Kill the beast!

R2 and Leia, the dream team. Taking over Jabba's ship with style.

And finally, Jabba defeated, Luke returns to Yoda. IT'S ABOUT TIME.

Yoda is all like "I'm ready for eternal sleep. Some call it death, but not me."

"Anger, fear, aggression- the dark side are they." Yoda, please come talk to Trump.

Yoda just poofed! Caroline: "That's one way to go."

PLOT TWIST LUKE HAS A SISTER. How on earth did I miss that in my 22 years?

DOUBLE PLOT TWIST IT'S LEIA. (Embarrassing side note: I've actually read a children's book about Leia being Darth Vader's daughter. I thought it was a funny "what if...")

Defeat the ship, hit something inside it to destroy it...We've been here before, rebels.

Forest planet mostly looks like earth.

Ewok! 

Team Leia and Ewok are as great as Team Leia and R2.

3PO finally found his people- the kind that will worship him.

Luke goes outside to be moody. "I must go to face him. I'm endangering you while I'm here."

Luke takes the longest time in the world to tell Leia the truth. Her response? "I've always known." Then ew, Leia.

Han is a jerk. Always a jerk. And then Leia's all like "hold me." NO GIRL YOU DON'T NEED HIM.

Luke's like "Dad, be good!" And Darth Vader is like "Son, be evil!" I don't foresee a compromise here.

Han. You are so condescending. Dislike you I do.

Ewok attacks are like giant deadly hugs.

C3PO is constantly trying to hold R2 back and I don't approve (oh hey, much like Han and Leia...)

I cannot imagine this shield thing is going to go well.

Love, love is the answer! Not anger! That's always how these movies go.

Leia with the genius "I'm hurt! Oh but wait, GUN."

Luke your father doesn't have a light side!! Let it goooo. Let it gooo!

Luke, he can read your mind, use that to your advantage. Harry Potter did.

"Now we've both lost a hand, it's cool, we're cool."

I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

WHAT WHAT WHAT.

Father and son bond right as father dies. Typical.

R2 beeps in excitement!

Leia's all like, "yeah, the Force is with me, it's casual."

Han the only one who appropriately reacts to the news Leia and Luke are siblings. He's good for something.

Dramatic Luke shot- with fire!

The only thing storm troopers are good for- being drums.

And they all lived happily ever after!

So final thoughts: Episode IV I wasn't wild about, but I can see why it was so amazing in the 70's and I think set up a really cool story. Episode V is by far my favorite. It kept my attention the whole time and I felt like the characters really got to be people; in other words, they were more complex and understandable. Episode VI does a good job of adding new things while continuing the old story. I liked the twist about Leia, that gives me something to look forward to in the next movie. And the constant "what's going to happen to Luke and Darth Vader" question kept me interested. But in terms of a wrap up, it wasn't much more than what you'd expect. Like in Harry Potter, only Luke or Darth Vader could make it to the end; not both. I also felt like the whole "save Han" beginning was unnecessary (could be because despise him I do). But I still really enjoyed it, and would rate it as my second favorite.

What's your favorite Star Wars episode? Should I eventually watch I, II, and III? And can anyone get me R2 merch?

Leeann

Watching Star Wars for the First Time: Episode V

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Before we get started with today's recap, I just wanted to briefly update everyone!

It's exactly three weeks until I check in for my Disney College Program, WOO HOO! I submitted my roommate and housing requests today and class registration is Wednesday. It's getting so close!

Also, if you haven't already, check out my DCP blog posts! I also took the plunge and made my first Youtube video, which is scary but also fun. If you could take a look, maybe even subscribe, that'd be amazing :) Soon I'll be posting about packing and all the preparation stuff I've done so far.

And now, please enjoy my thoughts on Star Wars: Episode V:

Star Wars, round two!

Oh of course. Luke is in charge of the rebels. But he's like 15.

"Evil lord" Darth Vader. No subtleties about this film.

Weird camel things hit the scene. Luke looks out at weird robots with a one-eyed binocular.

A MURDEROUS YETI!

Why they making Chewie do all the hard work? It's made the poor guy skinnier!

Han seems to be leaving for no reason at all. And he's acting super sexist to Princess Leia.

In other news, R2 is back and that's great.

A convenient light saber is left just in Luke's reach so he can escape.

Luke chops off Yeti's arm: "just a flesh wound."

I feel like the Rebels couldn't make it without Luke, Han, and Leia. Like, Luke is missing and only Han can find him?

Chewie is so sad that Han and Luke are "dead" and that makes me sad. He's sadder than Leia.

THE KINDLY OLD MAN BEYOND THE GRAVE. He's given Luke a message that can only mean one thing: Yoda.

By some stroke of luck Han finds Luke. And the weird camel thing just decides to up and die so that Han can rip it open to keep Luke warm without guilt.

 Random scene of Luke in a water tube.

Han. Stop. Harassing. Leia.

The new Death Star looks like three floating pizza slices.

Where did these evil people come from? Literally everyone died but Darth Vader in the last movie.

There's no way he rebuilt a fleet that fast. Not even Mufasa can do that.

Caroline is complimenting Darth Vader's evilness and that concerns me more than the fact he just casually killed a guy OVER A SCREEN.

The big elephant machines! I've seen those!

Han's riding Solo. He's riding Solo, Soloooo (because Leia dissed him)

Chewie is like "YOU FOOLS GET ON THE DANG SHIP."

And what a weird winter costume choice for the Storm Troopers...like...Google the images. A little creepy.

R2 randomly shows up to save Luke. But how.

Pizza slice ships are back and as menacing as ever

Han is so creepy to Leia. Why, this is terrible for her.

Luke's cliches! They continue.

Yoda looks like a puppet. What happened to the improved budget?

What is wrong with Yoda? He's beating up on R2 and I don't tolerate that.

I am not okay with this Han/Leia story line at all. Not at all.

Let R2 in the tree house!! Luke is such a jerk. It's raining and R2 wants in.

Yoda reveals himself finally. Gives Luke the smack down he needs.

Luke faces his greatest fear- himself turning evil. Yoda stirs lake with a stick.

#thatawkwardmomentwhen Your light speed doesn't work.

Meanwhile, Luke performs magic tricks while R2 whistle whistle bleep bleeps a warning as the ship sinks away.

"Try not! Do! Or do not. There is no try."

"I don't believe it." "That is why you fail." #yodamikedrops

Bounty hunter lucks out, literally stumbles upon the Falcon.

Yoda is so sassy. He just purses his lips and shakes his head and you know he's not about Luke.

Luke sees a city in the clouds. Next scene his friends land in a city in the clouds.

Princess Leia trusts no one. So smart that woman.

Luke, ever so moody. Ever so stupid. Literally the smartest people ever, the kindly old man and Yoda, are telling you to not go to the cloud city and you still do.

Suddenly Leia and Han are a thing even though he assaulted her. Like what.

If I was Leia I would just be so done with all the men constantly trying to get with me.

Oh no! It's Darth Vader! They've been tricked!

Wait what? Did we skip the dinner? What's happening with Chewy? Where was the transition?

They left Chewy tools? Why would they do that? Now he can escape! The past five minutes were not well-edited.

Freeze? Really Darth Vader, you have to freeze him? If you were really that cool you'd use the force to paralyze him. This is moving too quickly, I can't keep up.

"You have to take care of her." LEIA DOESN'T NEED A PROTECTOR.

ALSO WHAT NOW SHE LOVES HIM??? There is so much wrong with this.

Dramatic head tilt by Han.

This "will Han survive?" thing is not sad to me because I know he makes it to the seventh movie.

Luke is really stupid part I. R2 is adorable but loud.

Luke is really stupid part II.

Luke fighting Darth Vader is like Harry trying to defeat Voldemort in year two. He's totally not ready, just like what Yoda said.

Storm troopers literally stand still when good guys take their guns. Put up no fight.

R2 spins in circles in front of bad guys for no reason.

Luke is really stupid part III.

"Oh!"
Darth Vader as he falls who knows how far. Followed by an awkward pause.

If I was Darth Vader, I'd get better henchmen. The storm troopers are worthless.

R2's motto is "they see me rolling. They hating."

OH MY GOSH DARTH VADER JUST TOOK OFF LUKE'S HAND
WHAT WHAT WHAT

#thatawkwardmomentwhen your dad is trying to kill you

Luke is really stupid part IV

Leia is really smart part like 1,000. (Although she's kissing everyone. Leia you don't need a man.)

"Set your weapons to stun." OR SET THEM TO FUN.

You know, if Darth Vader kidnapped 3PO, I wouldn't be sad.

Every time I hear Darth Vader say "son" all I hear is Mufasa. "You are my son..."

R2 saves the day! I knew he could.

A magic hand for Luke!

Luke, go back to Yoda. Like you had your fun, you were proved wrong.

And now, we stay tuned for Episode VI!

Leeann

Watching Star Wars for the First Time

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I've never seen Star Wars.

Well, that's not exactly true. I saw Episode 1 by accident when I meant to see some Nicholas Sparks' movie with my friend in high school. It was sold out and that's when Episode 1 was released in 3D. I don't remember much about it except that I'm pretty sure there was some sort of vehicle race.

Anyway, since I'm moving to Disney World soon, I figured I should know a thing or two about Star Wars. So I watched Episode Four: A New Hope with my sister, Caroline, and eventually my dad. This is what I thought.

  • 20th century Fox music has begun. This is going so well!
  • Okay, typical Star Wars music, I know this, I’m ready.
  • Scrolling words, scrolling words. I feel like this is plot I should have watched, not read. Shouldn’t I have seen Princess Leia steal the plans? Shouldn't I have formed an attachment to her cause?
  • Space. Nothing but space.
  • A giant space ship is shooting red and green light at another space ship. Special effects are…well, I bet in 1977 they were something else.
  • Okay we're on one of the ships. The golden guy and R2D2 have shown up and boy is golden guy (C3PO?) pessimistic. A robot after my own heart.
  • STORM TROOPERS!
  • Fight scene. A guy, not a Storm Trooper, has been hit by red light and has a "dramatic" death. I’m unconvinced by the acting that a red light is actually lethal.
  • DARTH VADER! WHY YOU SO CREEPY?
  • Caroline has informed me he’s the Syth Lord. I’m sure I’ll figure out what that means later.
  • She has also informed me Darth Vader is James Earl Jones, aka Mufasa, and I can't unhear that.
  • C3PO (I've figured out that's who you are), you are my spirit robot. Yes, we’re all doomed, nothing will work.
  • Why do Storm Troopers sound like automated phone people? Aren't they real people in costumes? I've seen The Force Awakens' trailer!
  • Princess Leia is BA. Everything I hoped she would be.
  • Stand tall Princess Leia! Pretend it's just Mufasa threatening you instead of a guy in a mask!
  • I’d watch a movie just about C3PO and R2D2, tbh. They're off in an escape pod because R2D2 has business to attend to and C3PO is afraid. I feel you, C3PO.
  • The robots have landed on a Mars-esq place. C3PO is walking off so something bad is going to happen to him. R2D2 looks concerned, which is saying something for a robot with no face.
  • NO C3PO YOU IDIOT. DON’T WAVE TO STRANGERS!
  • Caroline: oh that fade.
  • So we've Power Point transitioned back to R2D2. R2D2, be careful! I’m so afraid for him. It’s a him right? It’s probably not fair to assign a gender to a robot.
  • GAH WEIRD CLOAKED THINGS. GET AWAY FROM R2D2!
  • EW WHAT IS THAT BUG THING. WHAT ARE THE CLOAKED THING?
  • The robot friends have been reunited on the creepy cloaked people ship and I'm glad. C3PO is as pessimistic as ever.
  • My dad, expert Star Wars resident of our house, has entered and called the cloaked people “sand people.” Works for me.
  • The sand people look like little kids with too big clothes.
  • What? Where did Luke come from? Is he friends with the sand people?
  • Luke and his uncle are looking at a robot line-up from the sand people. C3PO has been chosen! Ooooooo.
  • Aw R2D2 is scared, he wants his friend! Take him too, Luke!
  • Oh thank goodness, good job, Luke.
  • Ah Luke, existential teenage problems. "I just want to be free!" Some things never change.
  • R2D2 is sassy. I like it. Best character so far.
  • Luke looks off into the distance. Dramatic music. Red light. Angst. Two suns.
  • Wait, there’s more sand people who aren’t sand people… are there any good guys? They're attacking Luke and C3PO because R2D2 ran off. He's like, "peace out, losers. I'm off to complete my mission."
  • A hooded figure who looks like Voldemort appears. 
  • Oh hey! It’s a kindly man!
  • Oh, it’s Obi-Wan the kindly man! I am terrible at this.
  • Finally learning what The Force is.
  • Still confused what The Force is.
  • Luke also seems confused about The Force, which makes me feel better.
  • “Fear will keep local stations in line.” Yes, fear, that will work. Great plan, evil person whose name I don't know.
  • Oh, sand people are Jawas, and then actual sand people are sand people. Sand people=bad, Jawas= only kind of bad.
    • (This is not going well so far.)
  • What?? LUKE'S AUNT AND UNCLE DIE?? This is intense. Luke doesn't seem to care.
  • They’re burning the Jawas' bodies and at first I thought R2D2 was warming himself by the fire.
  • “These are not the droids you are looking for.” They never are, are they?
  • They’re not persuaded by the cuteness of R2D2 at the alien club. He's kicked to the curb.
  • Boy oh boy light sabers are dangerous.
  • Chewbacca has entered the scene. The party can begin.
  • Oh, and he brought Harrison Ford. Swell.
  • Harrison Ford kills a guy and strolls out of the bar. Not a joke.
  • Fast forward: Luke and Obi Wan hop on Harrison Ford's ship. Harrison Ford is involved with the space mafia. Space battle! Space battle! This is what I came here for.
  • Back to my fav, Princess Leia.
  • Oh no oh no, what a terrible deal. Do something, Princess Leia!
  • Wow, it was way too easy to just destroy a planet.
  • Fast forward: Luke and Co. are on the evil ship. Luke and Co. have tricked their way into a control room of sorts.
  • Darth Vader, not great with the dramatic moments “I’ve felt something, a presence I’ve not felt since-” walks away. DRAMATIC PAUSES ARE YOUR FRIEND, Darth Vader/Mufasa.
  • The Death Star has terrible security on their computer system. That was far too easy for R2D2 to hack into. It'd never make it in the 21st century.
  • Luke and Co. minus the droids run off to "save" Princess Leia. Yes, leave the crucial robot behind to defend his cute self. Smart, Luke
  • Princess Leia takes the lead in her rescue. As she should, Luke knows nothing, Hans just wants to fight people.
  • With the bad guys. Who's skinny sallow faced man? I thought Darth Vader was the head bad guy...
  • So glad Princess Leia is here. These other two bozos had no plan.
  • There's a lot about this movie that reminds me of Harry Potter. Three people, off to fight evil, led by an old guy...
  • The Storm Troopers lack a lot in intelligence. And in aim.
  • So confused on how the Storm Troopers are even slightly helpful to the dark side. They can't shoot, they run away from one crazy guy...
  • A fight scene with light sabers is an interesting fight scene. But hey, I'm all for an Obi Wan victory.
  • WHAT? Obi Wan just let himself get cut down like that??? But why!!! WHY??
  • The amount of emotion a robot can convey without words is insane. I heart you R2D2.
  • Fight scene fight scene fight scene... in space!
  • They ditched the Death Star...for now. If Princess Leia knows they're being tracked, why on earth lead the bad guys straight to the rebels?
  • Always the Force, never forget the Force.
  • We just met an old friend of Luke's, Biggs, which must mean he's about to die.
  • Luke's clichés, I mean, who wrote these lines?
  • Awww R2 and 3PO really are friends! BFFS FOR LIFE.
  • Even the Death Star can't shoot! CAN ANYBODY AIM HERE?
  • Caroline: Luke will make it. He's the main character.
  • And surprising no one, Biggs is dead.
  • NO NOT R2!!!
  • And surprising no one, Luke saves the day and blows up the Death Star.
  • Why is Chewy always in the back? And he didn't get a reward!
  • Caroline: Chewy Rights 2x16!
  • R2D2 is safe! The movie can end happily now.
  • It does.
  • BUT I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Leeann