Family Bonds, Featuring Hidden Valley Road

Reading Robert Kolker’s Hidden Valley Road made me think a lot about my own family. If you’ve read Hidden Valley Road: Inside the Mind of an American Family, this does not sound like a good thing. But through discussing the perils and struggles of the Galvin family, Kolker peeks at what it means to be a family and how those relationships shape bonds unlike any other.

The Book: Hidden Valley Road: Inside the Mind of an American Family

The book details the lives of the 12 Galvin siblings, six of whom are diagnosed with schizophrenia. The Galvin parents, Don and Mimi, try very hard to make the family appear like an all-American, perfect 1950s household, but the reality is much darker. Violence, abuse, and trauma fill the rooms of the family home on Hidden Valley Road, and all the siblings are left to reconcile how these events determine the rest of their lives.

My family is nothing like the Galvins. I was fortunate to grow up in a healthy, loving home with parents and a sister who love me unconditionally. Yet reading about this extreme case of family life made me think about my family members. Specifically, my grandfather and his love of farming.

Family Bonds

While I read Hidden Valley Road, my grandfather, Leighton Miller, passed away after years of battling dementia. He means the world to me, and I wrote about a lot of our time together growing up in my college senior project. He’s throughout the whole project, but one essay, “The Farmer,” is devoted to him. At a time when all I wanted was to live on the farm and be closer to Grandma and Granddad, he taught me how to drive the tractor, to cover the garden with newspaper to help with pests, to mow with a John Deere riding lawnmower. My granddad loved to farm, and I loved my granddad. I wanted to know why he loved this lifestyle so much.

I never asked him, so I don’t have a meaningful quote about farming from him. But even when we first noticed his mind wasn’t the same — when he forgot certain safety features on the tractor or made my sister and me drive his large, green truck to pick up feed when we were used to city streets and Honda Civics — he did everything he could to keep farming. And my uncle, my mom, my grandma did what they could to let him farm for as long as possible.

When I think of my granddad now, it’s the man who got up before sunrise to feed the cows, who was outside all day except for meals, who moved hay and tended the garden. He was patient, kind, and loving to anyone who met him. As the pastor said at his funeral, “anyone who talked to him for four minutes felt like they knew Leighton.” I’m lucky that I knew him for almost 27 years.

So, in summary…

Our family relationships, for better or for worse, influence our lives. Whether your family is in your life or not, whether you care for them or not, they shape the landscape of your life. I’m lucky that my family has shaped me for the better. And I’m forever grateful that Leighton Miller was a part of my landscape.

Disney Princess Book Tag

YEs, this is a picture of a book about DIsney Princess. I know. I'm cool.

Or basically, a book tag that was MADE for me.

If you don't know, I love Disney. I don't care what the haters say, it's awesome and I adore it and I want to work for the company one day. Because who wouldn't want to be a part of making the world a happier place?

But I digress. This is a tag about books and relating them to the princesses (and in a POSITIVE way, thank you creator of this tag Of Stacks and Cups). I accept this challenge.

Snow White - Name your favorite classic.

I LOVE classics so all my favorite books are classics. But since my favorite book of all time is The Great Gatsby, I'm going with that.

Cinderella - Name a book that kept you reading well past your bedtime.

At first I thought this would have to be a book I read as a kid because sleep is far too important to young adult me. But then I remembered I stayed up until 1 a.m. to finish What this River Keeps a couple weeks ago....

Still, I'm going with Harry Potter because I stayed up way past my bedtime to read every. single. one. of those books. YOU JUST CAN'T STOP.

Aurora - Name your favorite classic romance.

Pride and Prejudice. Don't hate, it's genius. I own multiple copies and I'm always on the hunt for more beautiful covers.

Ariel - Name a book that's about making sacrifices.

Ishmael by Daniel Quinn. PLOT TWIST- it's about human kind needing to make sacrifices in how we live and how we view the world. It's mind blowing. Thought provoking. Unusual. And involves a talking animal--that's Disney like, right? (Wrong, OMG don't read this thinking it's like Disney).

Belle - Name a book with a smart and independent female character.

Oh my goodness, where do I begin. Hermione.  Elizabeth Bennet. Jo March (and her sisters, they never get enough credit). 

In the interest in choosing something a little less famous, I'm going with Taylor Greer from The Bean Trees. She leaves home and adopts a child all in two (or three?) days and is determined to make it. She might make mistakes, but she's smart in her own, unique way.

Jasmine - Name a book with a character who challenged the social conventions of his or her world.

I hesitantly pick Things Fall Apart, which, while a favorite, has a character too complicated for me to say he truly challenges social conventions. He more like.... makes the reader question them. But hey, it made me question them, and I think that's the true sign of a successful book.

Pocahontas - Name a book whose ending was a roller coaster of emotions.

Gone Girl, because my goodness that was crazy. I went from relieved to panicked to confused to anxious to miserable all in the last couple chapters. And when I finished I wasn't quite sure what just happened to me.

Mulan - Name a book with a kick-ass female character.

I don't read violent books, so I don't really have an answer for this one (not one different than the Belle question anyway). So I'm going to name a book with a kick-ass female author (ooo plot twist). J.K. Rowling, this one goes out to you....

Tiana - Name a book featuring a hardworking, self-made character.

This is a hard one, because I think people are constantly influenced and helped by the people around them, rather they realize it or not. It's never as straightforward as Tiana's story. But...oh, I know! Mr. Hosokawa from Bel Canto. He's a very powerful man who his position through his own hard work and ambition. And opera.

Rapunzel - Name a book that features an artist.

I'm going to cheat a little bit here and go with someone who isn't really featured, just present: Ambrose Pike from Elizabeth Gilbert's (yes, Eat, Pray, Love Elizabeth Gilbert) The Signature of All Things. It's long and different and talks a lot about moss...but so worth a read if you don't mind slow Victorian-type novels.

Merida - Name a book that features a mother-daughter relationship.

There are not enough books that tackle this, in my opinion--at least that I've come across. The Help features a mother-daughter relationship, as does Pride and Prejudice, The Signature of All Things, Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood, Boy, Snow, Bird... but they're not exactly positive relationships.

Which I guess Merida doesn't have either, but in the end it all works out.

Still, I can't think of one to recommend. Please, PLEASE, suggest something in the comments below!

Anna and Elsa - Name a book that features a great relationship between siblings.

One about me and MY sister! Just joking. But seriously C, it would be a great book.

I'm going to have to go with Little Women for this one. Those sisters would do anything for each other, even if it's in their own special ways. They have realistic relationships with each other, something we can all relate to and, if we're lucky, achieve.

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If there are any other Disney-related posts out there, please tell me. I need them in my life :) And does anyone have some good mother/daughter relationship book recommendations? Let me know in the comments!

Leeann

And here I am at 8-years-old FULFILLING my childhood dream of meeting Cinderella. THe line was so worth it. I hope getting to this picture was worth it too.