What I Read: The Opposite of Loneliness

3/5 pineapples

Marina Keegan intrigued me.

From the start, I noticed her in a bright yellow coat looking at me every time my friends and I found ourselves in Barnes & Noble (which is often). Finally, I opened the cover. When I found out she died just after her college graduation, I set the book back on the shelf and walked away.

At some point, Marina ended up on my Goodreads "to-read" list but I didn't think much of it until this semester. The semester of three classes, free time, and low motivation meant reading more. I gravitated towards nonfiction and short essays, easy to pick up after longer periods of time. Marina caught my eye once again. This time I obliged.

The Opposite of Loneliness documents a college writer's potential. Marina's fiction is a little weak in some places and the stories aren't as well done as, say, George Saunders. Frequently her writing reminded me of what I come across in some of my writing workshops. That talented kid, who always comes up with something the professor loves, sometimes too big for his or her own good--that's Marina. She has so much potential, and it's clear that with more training and time she could have really been a writer. A good one. (A paid one.)

The beauty of her book is not, then, in the quality of the writing. It's in the story behind the essays and the person who wrote them. Young people have something to say, something that I feel is too often ignored by adults. Yes, the writing might not have the experience to be extraordinary. But it's still valuable and useful. Marina's nonfiction, my favorite part of the book, really says something. In each essay I can feel her passion for her words. She cares about these topics. And she wants others to know. So what if the language is a bit rough in places; Marina knew how to get people's attention.

Marina inspired me and my writing. Every time I put her book down I wanted to write something of my own, something worthwhile and helpful. I wrote this article for the school newspaper and a post for our admission blog (not yet published), both inspired by her writing. Marina's inspiration is what makes this book worth reading. Her passion and her story are what make it good.

While I'm not nearly as talented as Marina, nor as recognized, I hope I can follow her example and create a lasting impact with my writing. While it may only be a ripple and not a splash, that's more than enough for me.

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Below the Line:

• I had my very last class of junior year today. Two plays and a paper from now, I'll be a senior. Now there's a scary thought.
• Trying to live up these last few weeks with my senior friends has been lots of fun (Cardinal's game! Weeknights at the Duck (the on-campus bar)! Stargazing at 4:30am!) but as graduation looms closer it's harder to keep the sad thoughts at bay.
• However, I am very excited for this summer. I love spending time with my family and I love Indy. Plus I have two great internships I'm really looking forward to!
• I'm trying a new style for my photos. What do you think?

The Quarterly Update

Back in January, I wrote down my five goals for 2015. I thought today I would revisit how I'm doing so far on those goals and what I need to do to keep moving:

1. Prepare for a job in 2016. I've made progress in this, simply by realizing I don't have to have a job after college. I could do a long-term paid internship, volunteer for a year, work at Disney. I like the idea of not jumping straight into a job after college, but there's still research that needs to be done.
2. Read 50 books. Not doing so great on this one. I've only read 9 books out of the 13 I should be at. I know I'll catch up some over the summer, but I need to pick up the pace. Part of it is my lack of interest in books for some reason, but that's a discussion for another post.
3. Waste less time on the Internet. Cough cough... I'm failing at this. I've got to get better. Any tips?
4. Consistently post on the blog. LOL we all know how this is going. Again, I haven't been reading much and therefore don't know what to say a lot of the time. I'm in a slump kids, a slump so bad that when I sat down to write about it a couple of days ago I couldn't think of anything good to say.
5. Run 5 miles. I've been making progress on this goal. I'm up to 2.5 miles right now. I was really excited, because I thought my goal was a 5K, not 5 miles. But if I can make it to a smooth 5K by the end of the summer, I think I can be near if not at 5 miles by December. We'll see!

So, two out of five are going well. That's something! I really need to get on my reading game; hopefully the other two will follow after that :)

How are your New Years resolutions coming along? Any advice for me?

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Below the Line:

• If you want to keep up with my writings elsewhere on the Internet, check out my professional Twitter @lesausser. I tweet every time something I write shows up somewhere on the web!
• Less than four weeks of school left. Terrifying, exciting, and incredibly sad. All at the same time.

Mantras

“Don't spend your precious time asking 'Why isn't the world a better place?' It will only be time wasted. The question to ask is "How can I make it better?" To that there is an answer.” -Leo Buscaglia

I found this quote in a box my friend Jordan keeps on her desk, a square little thing that allows you to switch out a quote whenever the mood strikes. Buscaglia's quote, the first one I came across, really struck me. A part of it is recent events in my life, but also after seeing the Cinderella movie last Saturday.

"Have courage, and be kind" is the mantra of the movie, the words Cinderella lives her life by. Yet they seem to fail her, causing her to let others bully her around while she just waits for something to happen. Instead of working to better her predicament, she just accepts it in order to remain "kind" and "courageous."

When I first left the theater, I wished I was more like Cinderella- always kind and never letting others affect my character. Which is fine, but I've realized since then that you have to be more than that. Wishing is not enough; you have to act to get what you want.

That's why I like Buscaglia's quote. Constantly when I'm faced with horrible things, whether they're happening to the world or to my friends or to me, I feel helpless. What can I, just an almost 21-year-old in Indiana, do to help? Frequently that little voice in my head says, "nothing."

That's where mantras come in. Cinderella's might work out for her in the end, but it doesn't help me to understand why the world can be so cruel sometimes. I've been trying to find the right one, something that reminds me that all is not lost. I don't have to lose a positive attitude in order to care about all the hurt that happens. I still haven't found something yet, the perfect mantra. The perfect solution to an impossible problem.

But there's something about the thought "how can I make it better?" that I like. One of the most important things I've learned in college is to ask "how can I fix this?" whenever I'm stressed or have a problem. It allows me to handle the problems in a tangible way, and almost always makes me feel better. And even if the problem is "everyone is starving" and not "I have a paper and a presentation due the same day," this idea can still work.

It's going to take some time. It's going to take some effort. But I hope that, with that time and effort, I'll be able to create a solution all my own. One that allows me to create a mantra that's personalized, memorable, and, most importantly, mine.

On Location | Indiana State Library

For the past couple of weeks, I've been researching and editing a history paper about Indiana Quakers and slavery I wrote last semester for an upcoming competition. My research led me to the Indiana State Library last Thursday, where I sat down with a letter from Levi Coffin and every Indiana Yearly Meeting Minutes record I could ever want. For three and a half hours I sat in a hard-backed wooden chair and poured over those minutes, thinking about the people who created them 180 years ago. A man across the aisle from me looked at several large maps intently, and stacks of other documents waited in the wings inside climate controlled rooms and drawers.

It's a beautiful thing, hundreds of documents waiting to be read by some twenty-first century person who prefers paper to pixels.